I like that they talked about it, and I’m glad that they’re at least saving up some extra investment money. That’s also the part that confuses me the most in this situation. LTC is the most dirty, annoying, and personally insulting type of insurance you can buy. It’s admitting to yourself that one day you could end up in that kind of place, and it’s not fun.

It’s easier to tell yourself that you’ll save extra investment money, and psychologically, you can justify that the money will always be there in case of a LTC or other financial emergency, plus you get to avoid admitting the harsh health consequences of getting older.

The main confusion I have when people make this compromise is that it’s a poor use of money. If you’re willing to save money in a fund and not touch it until a LTC event, you’ll lose money everytime. It’s like saving up money while you’re young, in case you die, but it’ll never have the financial leverage of life insurance on yourself. That’s the whole point!

I get it from a marriage point of view, but math and marriage bliss are two different things. Go buy a LTC policy from a rep immediately, before it’s too late. Take your time, do it right, do your due diligence, but buy it. Tie her up if you have to, and tape a pen to her hand. Tell her you get one time in a marriage to put your foot down about something, and this is it. BEG her if you have to.

I’ve never seen normal people in such bad situations as the people who die slowly in America without any money. You WILL care when you are 90. You are not old and desensitized. You will feel every pin prick, and your family will bankrupt themselves to save you from the pain. They will not be able to watch you die like that, and they will literally bankrupt themselves, move halfway across the country, and tear apart marriages to save you. DO NOT make them clean up your mess.

I’m sorry, but though she is being reasonable and thoughtful about the issue, she is taking an amatuers point of view and using some false logic. It makes sense on the surface, but you will rue the day you let her guess about this. GET A PROFESSIONAL INVOLVED.

It’s unlikely that starting a savings fund in your 60s will accrue enough to cover the cost of nursing home care by the time one of you needs it. However, there is another option: divorce. One of my friends had to arrange a divorce for his parents (they were Catholic and had been married over 40 years) so as to preserve a pittance for his mother, who was impoverished by his father’s Parkinson’s disease. It’s too bad to have to do that at the end of your life…heart-rending, one might say. But you have to do what you have to do.

Fortunately the new federal health care plan will offer a long-term care option. It’s pretty minimal and will cost most people more than LTC would have cost had they signed up for a private plan in their 50s. But at least it may be accessible when you get closer to needing it. If you can persuade your spouse to reconsider.
.-= Funny about Money´s last blog ..Memorial Day 2010 =-.

“Dicey” is a good word; financial decisions are about real life, and, as you say, there are often no perfect answers. The best, for now, is discussing the issue, both having a voice, negotiating and finally agreeing… and sometimes the agreement is not about the decision itself but a ratification of our marital process.

Perhaps we should all take comfort that often there is no right answer and, at times, going with your gut is actually a good enough reason for making certain financial decisions.

All the best,

Len
Len Penzo dot Com
.-= Len Penzo´s last blog ..Why Your Expensive Luxury Car Doesn’t Impress Smart People. (Or Me.) =-.

@Evan: I stated in the post that our decision is made (and it has) but I have nevertheless been checking into some “cheaper products”. We won’t change our decision, but we aren’t against making new decisions based on new information.

@FinEngr: Yes, each family/person IS different! That is what makes personal finance personal.

I like how you took something that has been “standardized” – checked out the pro/cons & applied it to your own situation.

Since each family/person is different – personal finance can not be a catch-all.
.-= FinEngr´s last blog ..Don’t Buy Your Next Car Before Checking Out These Sites =-.