Dave Barry is my absolute favorite comedy writer, so when I ran across Dave’s “16 Things it Took Me 50 Years to Learn” at Narrow Bridge, I couldn’t resist sharing it. Enjoy!
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important.)
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it’s up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Lots of good recommended reading this week:
- 5 Things You Can Do To Prepare For Retirement & Giveaway at Sweating The Big Stuff
- Money versus resources at Early Retirement Extreme
- Too Much of a Good Thing: Mortgage Prepayments at Fiscal Fizzle
- Never Lend Money to Your Family and Friends! at Money Reasons
- The After Lunch Fatigue Problem at My Financial Objectives
- My Curriculum for Money Education in High School at Foreigner’s Finances
- 5 Reasons to Get Netflix and Cut the Cable at Christian Common Cents
- Check Out My Small Feet at Money Beagle
- Financial Lessons From Running at Engineer Your Finances
Check out my post Work Less to Get More Done! over at Christian PF
I was recently included in the following roundups:
- Week in Review: Earthquake Edition by Bucksome Boomer
- Weekend Wrap-Up: If The Earth is Rockin’ Don’t Bother Knocking Edition by Beating Broke
- Get Your Money Questions Answered: Cash Commons by PT Money
- Bite Size Personal Finance Roundup at Money Help for Christians
- This Week in Personal Finance at Redeeming Riches
I have participated in the following Carnivals this week:
- Yakezie Challenge Carnival #7 hosted by Money Reasons
- Best of Money Carnival hosted by Credit Card Offers IQ
- Carnival of Money Stories #49 hosted by Foreigner’s Finances
- Baby Boomers Blog Carnival hosted by Baby Boomers US
- Christian Carnival 323 hosted by You Can’t Mean That
- Christian Finance Carnival: First Edition hosted by Money Help for Christians
- Carnival of Financial Planning hosted by The Skilled Investor
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for sharing Dave’s thoughts! Excellent, as always! #15 is one that I need to remember throughout today and the near future!
Fred,
You must be a kindred spirit if you, like me, love Dave Barry. I too need to remember #15 for inspiration and adventure. #10 made me laugh the most and my wife appreciated #16.
That was great, wise advice from a funny comedian! This is truly the best kind of comedy!
I like #1, nice indirect reference to that fact that “Common Sense” should always rule
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